Once upon a time, in a galaxy far far away, just post-divorce, I decided to jump into the bizarre world of online dating. For those of you who have tried it, you know just as well as I do that if it didn't make for such great stories, it just wouldn't be worth it at all. But I digress . . .
At the time, I truly wanted to see if I "still had it". AND . . . I also had big fears surrounding rejection so decided to approach the process as a social experiment with a new mantra: "Zero Expectations = Zero Disappointments". And for the most part it actually worked for a while! If you text someone with no expectation that they'll text you back . . . no disappointment. If you reach out to someone through the dating site and they don't respond? No worries . . . NEXT! You can distill it down pretty far, but at some point the truth is that good manners are good manners, and it is OK to have expectations that if someone says they'll call you, or meet you for dinner - that they won't stand you up. I actually don't even know if that falls into the "expectation" definition . . . those are just basic social skills that everyone should know by the time they are out of well . . . college? :) After a few months of behaving in a way that was really designed to protect my heart, it just felt soul-sucking to not have any expectations, so I adjusted my mantra and put the experiment behind me.
Expectations of any size can be funny things though, and a wise friend once said to me "Expectations are just Future Resentments." GOSH isn't that true? And whether you realize it or not, if you're carrying around a bunch of resentments (based on dashed expectations or anything else), the truth is that you're probably not living your best life.
For today I want you to think about expectations . . . do you have certain expectations of yourself and others? Do you have moments when you think perhaps you're not meeting expectations that others have set for you? What about resentments . . . how do those show up in your life? (see previous post about letting things go . . . ahem.) Think about these questions, and make a list of any expectations and evaluate how they are serving you. Could you move through life more gracefully in a state of accepting rather than expecting? My guess is yes - I'd love to hear what you think.
Until next week . . .
Love & Light,
Meet me here on Saturdays for some weekly vibes - honoring the week that has past, and clearing the way for what's new. Gather your journal and favorite pen, along with a hot cup of coffee/tea/chai - and settle in for 30 minutes dedicated to YOU.