I originally titled my post for today "The Art of Asking" and then remembered that Amanda Palmer has a book of the same name. And while I think she's great, I haven't actually read her book - so it felt a little funny to "borrow" from that. The Beauty of Asking it is!
It may come as some surprise to you that I used to be the worlds' biggest complainer. Yep - I was miserable, and I was eager to share my misery. I believed in that old saying that "Misery Loves Company" - though really I think it just made me sadder. Truth be told, I think I lost some friendships with my miserable behavior over the years - and I can't blame my friends . . . I don't think I was very much fun to hang out with!
In hindsight I can see that there was a root to my misery (or part of it), and that was . . . I wasn't asking for what I wanted! And at the time I couldn't even see my part in the problem. Hmmm.
Many years later I am a big proponent of ASKING, and have learned a few things about why people don't, and best practices when you do.
I think the most common reason people don't ask for what they want is because they are afraid of what the outcome might be . . . in other words, "What if I don't get what I want?" Not to state the obvious, but if you don't ask, you'll never get what you want so you might as well try! Other reasons might be that you don't think you deserve what it is you want, and it feels s-c-a-r-y to ask. All totally valid! However, once you start asking I guarantee that no matter what the result, you will feel empowered to do it more. It's magical!
As far as pointers on the "How to ask" part, I can really only state one: And that is to Ask, and then STOP TALKING! This is no joke . . . if you have to literally put your hand over your mouth, do it! There is no need to justify what you want and why you want it and why you think you deserve it. Just let the question go - and then wait gracefully for an answer. (<--- This takes practice! Don't beat yourself up if you can't do it the first time.)
Are you wanting to make some changes in your life, but are afraid to ask? (For a raise? To work part-time? For help with a project? To go back to school?) The worst that can happen is that the answer is NO . . . but what if the answer is YES - imagine what amazing adventures you might have and how you might be able to start living your best life!! So start asking - and let me know how it goes!
Love and Light,
Meet me here on Saturdays for some weekly vibes - honoring the week that has past, and clearing the way for what's new. Gather your journal and favorite pen, along with a hot cup of coffee/tea/chai - and settle in for 30 minutes dedicated to YOU.