As a life coach one of the many tools in my toolbox is identifying my clients' limiting beliefs & then helping to dissolve them.
But occasionally those limiting beliefs don't WANT to be dissolved! They keep showing up ... visiting us periodically even when we think we've done the work to let them go <--- I like to refer to these as our "Greatest Hits"!
I have a handful of my own such as:
"I'm a FRAUD" - this one shows up in literally EVERY area of my life. I think it's because I'm self-taught as a photographer and in some of my professional work, but seriously who the hell cares? Argh.
Another one that bubbled up recently is "I am not a portrait photographer." And in theory this is kind of true but then totally not true at the same time. Let me explain:
When I bought my very first "big girl" camera 15 years ago - my best friend at the time was also a photographer ... who specialized in portrait photography. Our friendship was complicated (my ex used to say "she just wants to be you!") and as such I think I chose to focus on fine art photography so as to not create some kind of additional weird competitive thing in our relationship.
"Portraits are hard", I would tell myself. "I don't know enough about exposure & my equipment isn't good enough". "I'm not a "real" photographer", "It's easier to take pictures of things that don't move!" These are all things I've said to myself over the years. Bottom line: People? No thank you!
And I'm happy to just stay in my little bubble of that for the most part - but this year I've committed to embracing my photography and integrating it into my coaching practice. And I'm also committed to embracing it in whatever form that takes along the way.
So when my friend Courtney said she wanted me to take her author photo for the book she just wrote - my prompt response was "Uhhhh .... I don't do that". To which she responded "Oh really? Duly noted. & I'm sure we will figure something out." Effectively she didn't take no for an answer - & in doing so challenged me to look beyond these stories I've been telling myself for the last 15 years ... & just DO IT!
Which prompted me to start thinking about some of my favorite photos of people I've taken over the years . . .
And you know what? I Got This! (Shazam!)
Do you have some Limiting Beliefs that like to keep you company and are hard to shake loose? What are your Greatest Hits? Leave a comment or send me a note - I'd love to hear all about them! And if you need some help dismantling those sticky thoughts, I am taking new clients . . .
Love and Light,
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Last week I wrote about the Power of Positive Thinking! <--- Which I'm totally excited about these days and I could talk about ad nauseum!
Aaaand - in the glow-y aftermath of manifesting some really cool sh*t - I had the weirdest thing happen to me after I wrote that post . . . which looked something like this:
. . . all of which was ultimately due to the fact that I was telling myself a story (<--- which wasn't true!), that sounded something like this:
"I don't deserve this sparkly windfall of travel + photography."
WAIT WHAAATT?? (Cancel Clear! Cancel Clear!)
Thankfully I was paying attention, and even though it took a few days (i.e. longer than I think it should have!) - I looked inward, and to some favorite resources to recognize the behavior for what it was:
Basically I was having a classic "Upper Limit" experience! Simply put - I was so uncomfortable feeling the joy associated with this amazing new adventure that I am embarking on, I was bringing myself down to a more "normal" level with some negative thinking. Argh!
Brené Brown says that Joy is the most terrifying emotion to feel - when everything is going well (or freaking amazing!), that we tend to sabotage things with the fear that somehow it will all be taken away.
Yep - I was Exhibit A of that for sure!
So why am I sharing this with you? Because I think it's important to be transparent with my people, lest you think that my life is all rainbows and unicorns 24 x 7! Short answer - it's NOT.
And also to say that even though I'm learning to think more positively and re-focus myself in those funky-moods that last several days - it does not happen overnight! In fact Pam Grout (my new hero) says that
"Re-training the mind is much like potty-training a puppy - you have to keep taking it back outside and pointing out the beauty, the majesty and the truth". YES! And as such - I am not beating myself up for falling off the positive thinking wagon. Phew!
I seem to have regained my good mojo this week, it was just a moment! Do you have times where you get stuck in a mood and can't seem to shake it? What tools do you use to move through a funk? I'd love to hear your thoughts - send me a note or leave me a comment!
Love and Light,
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I have had the craziest last couple of weeks - I believe all of which have had to do with a recent shift in my thinking. Well actually I think there have been a few things that have contributed to some wild adventures that have landed in my lap . . . let's go back a few months.
I have probably mentioned here at some point that one of the things I do as a side-hustle is walk my neighbors' dogs. Yep - on Tuesdays and Thursdays I make two outings (since the three of them can't get along), and take a Visla and two Rhodesian Ridgebacks out for some exercise and potty breaks . . . it's fabulous. Having grown up without pets I like to say I'm an accidental dog-walker, and I totally love it. I mean how can you not love getting paid to go outside, exercise and hang out with sweet furry friends? Total win.
At any rate - I was out on a walk with the dog a couple of months ago, and had one of those Square Two thoughts Martha Beck describes like this:
You'll know you're beginning Phase 2 when your mind's eye starts seeing images of the life you are about to create. These can't be forced—and they are never what you expected.
So yah - I was just out in my neighborhood, when I had this passing thought/image that I was going to spend one week out of each month traveling to amazing places . . . to do photography, teach, and coach! Given that I'm currently working two office jobs, have four Virtual Assistant clients, walk three dogs and it's baseball season? That seemed a bit ridiculous - but I made a note of it!
Around the same time I read Pam Grout's Thank and Grow Rich - and started her daily gratitude practice, which literally takes like three minutes a day. Honestly there are moments when I feel a little bit silly starting my day with the mantra of:
Something Amazingly Awesome is Going to Happen to me Today!
. . . but most of the time I embrace it, and actually say it several times before getting to work. In the shower, in front of the mirror, in the car . . . what a great way to start EVERY day - even those (especially those!) that feel like they might be crummy.
I liked her book so much, I actually got her other book to take on vacation. E-Squared: Nine Do it Yourself Energy Experiments that Prove Your Thoughts Create Your Reality. Given that I'm a Life Coach, and a mostly happy person these days - I'm all about trying to keep things positive. But the truth is I'm Human. And as such, sometimes people annoy me, I get frustrated, and if I find myself in the company of someone empathetic, I've been known to say a few snarky words just to let off steam. <--- Shocking, right? I'm also a recovering perfectionist - which means I can sometimes find myself in a loop of negative thoughts about myself . . . which isn't great either!
So I started reading E-Squared, and have slowly but surely been training myself to distract and re-direct those negative thoughts as they come up . . . just like a small child! I am totally a work in progress, but I have already seen an almost imperceptible shift - two degrees perhaps? - that I think is just enough to change my vibe and start manifesting some Wildly Improbable Goals!
Remember that crazy thought I had while dog-walking about traveling to do photography?
One of my Virtual Assistant clients is holding a retreat in San Miguel de Allende, Mexico in May (which I've been helping her with) - and last week she asked me if I'd like to come as a participant, and also be her event photographer!
I promptly cried, and then said "YES!"
And now I really do know that everything I want and need is available to me, and the Universe is a powerful force that is happy to deliver - my thoughts and I just need to be on the right frequency!!
Do you have any experience with the Power of Positive Thinking? What have you managed to manifest for yourself? Are you curious about creating more magic in your life? I highly recommend Pam Grout's books - and if you want some coaching around how to integrate more positivity into your life - sent me a note or leave a comment . . . I am taking new clients!
Love and Light,
p.s. Want to see more like this in your inbox? Sign up for my newsletter below!
In the last few weeks I've had the opportunity to take a look at some of my self-care practices. Or shall we say, lack thereof?
Let's start with the facts: I don't drink enough water. In fact last year when I started on a new eating regimen I may have told my friend "I'm bad at drinking water." (<--- who can spot the limiting belief?!) I could spend all day trying to analyze why this is such a challenge for me - but the truth is that I just don't like drinking water when I'm not thirsty. Simple.
And here are a few other facts: I haven't been feeling great for a while. I get cramps in my feet all the time, my hands hurt for no apparent reason, and my energy level kind of sucks. For the sake of this post let's just assume (& yes I'm ok with being an ass here), that I've probably been functioning at some level of dehydration for a loooong time.
Cut to one day last week when I was in Mexico with my boyfriend - 85-90 degree weather, we went on an awesome (hot!) bike ride, had lunch on the beach, and were hit with food poisoning that night. I think it would be safe to say that if I was moderately dehydrated before - I was most certainly very dehydrated that next day. AND YET . . . I still wasn't drinking water. What the HECK?
And at this point my systems-loving boyfriend gently asked: "If you know it's good for you, why don't you do it?" Totally valid question. And I decided right there that I needed to implement some kind of system to get this going because well . . . I was feeling HORRIBLE. So I noodled on it for a day, and then remembered that my friend Jolie (who is an amazing artist and overall remarkable person) had posted something on Instagram last year that she had come up with to manage the same issue. And all of a sudden I thought "I can DO THAT!"
See those little water droplets in her journal? She was drawing 8 droplets a day, and filling each one in after each 8 oz glass of water. GENIUS! In fact she ended up creating a little water-droplet stamp (see image on the right) - which is just off-the-charts-genius in my book . . . I think I'm going to get one. Because really, as a creative person I love the reward of getting to color after each glass of water. Clearly that's a motivator for me! Woo Hooo!!! I've been home for three days and have been getting my 8+ glasses in each day using this system. Awesome!
I think another really big self-care lesson for me in the last week where systems are concerned was that as important as it is to have a good system at home, it is VITAL to have those systems in place when you are traveling. <--- I know it's fun to say "I'm on vacation" and just throw all the good habits out the window . . . but with a system in place it's far easier to stay on track and actually feel good. Phew!
Some other systems I've thought of that might work for a variety of things are:
Clearly self-care isn't always a slam-dunk. Do you have systems in place that help you achieve your self-care goals? I'd love to hear them . . . leave a comment or send me a note!
Love and Light (& off to get more water . . .)
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Meet me here on Saturdays for some weekly vibes - honoring the week that has past, and clearing the way for what's new. Gather your journal and favorite pen, along with a hot cup of coffee/tea/chai - and settle in for 30 minutes dedicated to YOU.
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