So last week? It was a doozy! I mean, I did actually accomplish a ton of stuff and have a new group coaching program in the works that I'm super excited about. And . . . on Friday afternoon I got handed a heaping dose of Disappointment and Discouragement.
It was brutal, and I had a teary meltdown.
24 hours later? I was feeling much better. One day folks - that's all it took. Five years ago? I would have probably been in that sad, sad funk for more than a week!
It got me thinking though about how far I've come over the last few years and what it looked like to go from "I'm in the pit of d-e-s-p-a-i-r!" (cue Princess Bride reference), to "I got this!" in a matter of a day. Here's what I came up with:
1. Gratitude: The simple act of focusing on what you have, and not on what you don't - is one of the quickest mood menders I know. So you didn't get that job/second date/first college choice? So what!? Find gratitude in the simplest things and then stay there. It's been proven time and again that remaining in a state of gratitude for a prolonged amount of time can create more joy in your life.
2. Reminding Myself that I didn't "Do It Wrong.": I love the idea of manifesting what my heart truly desires, and I like to use all kinds of tools to get there. (Mostly related to having a positive mindset, Law of Attraction, etc.) And when things don't shake out the way I envision them? It's easy to go to "I did it wrong". That is not actually a thing, see #3.
3. I am exactly where I am supposed to be: This one speaks for itself. Right here, Right now, I am exactly where I'm supposed to be on my journey. If something didn't pan out the way I was hoping? It wasn't meant to be. End of Story.
To be fair . . . I am human - so there are still some small pieces of me trying to figure out the why behind some of my disappointments. And I'm quite certain that's not going to change the outcome so fine - I'm letting it go. Onward!
What are your favorite ways to navigate disappointments & feeling discouraged? I always love hearing your feedback - leave a comment or send me a note!
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Today I am going to share with you about the Five Whys. No it's not the name of a Life-Coach Rock Band (ha!), but a coaching tool I learned during my coach-training with Martha Beck.
The Five Whys originated at Toyota as part of its' production quality system.
"Every worker on the Toyota assembly line was taught to analyze design or production problems by asking the question "Why?" over and over again, like a two-year-old. (This bolt fell off. "Why?" Because the thread is stripped. "Why?" Because it was misaligned with the screw. "Why?" And so on.) Almost every design problem they encountered could be solved with the Five Whys or less. It turns out this system works beautifully with emotions too. Once you've identified your current emotional state, ask "Why?" until you've figured out what's making you feel that way. This isn't psychodrama; it's a direct route to a pragmatic action plan for improving your life."
- Martha Beck, Finding Your Own North Star
What's great about this tool is that "I don't know" just doesn't cut it. There's always an answer, and sometimes it's lying just beneath the comfort zone where sometimes we don't want to go!
This month I am doing a 30-Day Challenge with a friend of mine who is also a Life Coach. For the challenge I decided to do 30 Days of Video (of me!) - which is both horrifying and awesome all at the same time. During our pre-challenge call, Mari asked me what I wanted to accomplish over the 30 days, why was I doing this challenge?
Oh - that was easy I replied . . . I wanted people to get to "Know, Like & Trust" me so that they'd be more willing to engage with my services.
Great! What else?
(& this is where I'm thinking - Uhhhh I just answered the question?)
Well . . . I want to become more familiar with the Instagram Stories & IGTV platforms . . . so 30 days will help with that!
Great! What else?
(Now I was starting to get irritated . . .)
I want to get better at video, not say "um" so much or make weird facial expressions. (lol)
This went on for a few more rounds, and in the end my final answer was:
If I can do 30 days of video, I can do ANYTHING!
She had "Five Why-d" me, and while I wasn't quite sure where it was going, it was TOTALLY EFFECTIVE.
So - the next time you're feeling conflicted about something, or wanting to get to the root of what's causing you some emotional discomfort . . . Use the Five Whys! You can do it on your own by journaling your answers, with a friend (one who won't let you off the hook!), or with a coach (have I mentioned I'm accepting new clients?). Give it a try & let me know how it works!
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Meet me here on Saturdays for some weekly vibes - honoring the week that has past, and clearing the way for what's new. Gather your journal and favorite pen, along with a hot cup of coffee/tea/chai - and settle in for 30 minutes dedicated to YOU.
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