Today I am going to share something that's been happening to me - in the car - for years.
It goes something like this:
I'll be driving down the road (by myself - which I think is part of the setup), and be thinking about my kids, and BOOM! I'll be overwhelmed with emotion and start to cry! It's definitely a little weird.
For the longest time I thought this was guilt. And I would think "Guilt is a sneaky Mother-F**ker!" - it comes out of nowhere and then BAM! I'm crying! There was a time when this may have been true. I have had to work through a l-o-t of guilt about leaving my marriage vs. leaving my kids - there are many many stories (99.9% of which are not true) that I've told myself over the years. Thankfully the majority of that is past me now!
But even though I'd done all this work on the guilt, this odd crying in the car thing kept happening. Which left me thinking "What Gives?".
One day my fellow coach friend said, "Are you sure it's not grief? The way it comes in waves like that . . . sounds like grief to me." Ooooooh - she was onto something there! And while on the surface I didn't think I had too much to grieve, there are definitely things that are tied to my divorce (and the guilt), which left me grieving about having lost a little bit of my kids' childhood. So I embraced that because it felt right at the time. Except it's been two years since that revelation . . . and it's still happening!
This week I was in the car thinking about my boys, and when the tears came I realized that while it may have been guilt or grief at some point (maybe?) - these days the tears are all about LOVE! Yep - I worry about them a lot (probably a teeny bit more than the average amount for a Mom), and am ridiculously proud of what great people they are turning out to be. And there you have it: sometimes my heart overflows (in the form of tears) with how much I love my kids. Am I nuts?
What about you? Do you ever find yourself overwhelmed with emotion (in the car or elsewhere) about your kids? Or your parents/siblings/nieces/nephews/pets? I'd love to hear! And if you don't want to out yourself that's ok too . . . at least now you know you're not alone.
Love & Light,
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